My good friend Sherry Boles came to visit me for a very special reason. She did something for me I couldn't do for myself. At the risk of sharing too much I decided to share a chapter of my life with you all.... It has had EVERYTHING to do with why I am in this business and why I feel so passionate about families appreciating and staying with eachother. I was married to a good person for 21 years and had five babies. He was good and honest but our marraige was a lonely place for me for many years. Someone came along and said all the things I thought I had longed to hear and I allowed my heart to be open to that experience. I believe the first foot hold that satan uses with God's children is that we are entitled to something we do not have. I believed that lie and acted on it. I left a good man and married someone who said good things. It was not what I had hoped for and left me and my children so hurt. I have been struggling so hard with the shame I brought into the lives of the people that love me and I have found that the hardest part of making a life altering mistake is forgiving yourself. I need to let go... I am so thankful that God is a God of mercy and he has been faithful to give forgiveness and allow gifts in my life to give me something beautiful to do and to take care of me. My photography has been the tool he has given me to deal with my grief. I have been given something that allows me to bless other people and to help other families see the treasure they have in eachother and maybe it will play a role in holding their family together in a way I did not hold my own together. The really hard thing about sin is even with mercy and forgiveness the consequences of sin are forever. I have been forgiven by my children, sisters, parents, church, Marty and yet I will never be able to have my family reunited... I lost valuable time with my children when they were home... I hurt the family of the man I married... I can never go back and undo any of that pain and will live with those things forever... I can move forward. Make positive connections with you all... Bless your families with images that glue you together and I can try to let this go. I did this session yesterday in the hopes that it will speed up the process of letting it go... It is a vulnerable thing to share it with you but it is the reason I take pictures of you in the way I do :) If you think about it pray for restoration in the my life and the lives of the people I love and Thank you for allowing me into your life.
Hug the people in your house. Guard your hearts. The greatest treasures this side of the grave are right under your roof :)
Thank you Sherry for making the trip and using your gifts to help me let go ..... God is Good...
This has been an abreviated version of the images that were taken to see more click here
The music used for the video of the complete session was written and recorded by my sweet daughter Maggie... It is perfect ! She lived thru this with me :)
10 comments:
How incredible and brave you are to share all of this Cindy... I hope and pray that this helps you move on. These are beautiful and haunting... love you!
Cindy, you are such a beautiful person...inside and outside.
I am extremely honored that I was able to capture these moments for you. You deserve to be free of such a heavy burden...Lay it down. You are so right...God is good!
I truly hope that this was the 'letting go' that you needed...
Cindy, I am so inspired by how forthright and honest you are - this was hugely brave of you. You are beautiful! Sherry - amazing job chickie!
Cindy, These images are amazing. The emotion and feeling from them are so powerful. And after reading your story, I am so proud of you for taking such a symbolic step. Sometimes we keep ourselves in negative bondage for fear of the unknown. We do not know who we are without those ties bringing us down. I think you have just opened your self up to letting go of your bondage and releasing your self to what the Lord has in store for you. He molds us through the tough times for a bigger purpose. A purpose that you don't even know awaits for you. All that really matters is that the Lord is always with you. Sherry, these images are AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for sharing, Leslie.
Amazingly powerful images Cindy and Sherry! WOW! So heart wrechingly beautiful! Thank you for sharing your pain, wisdom and growth with us all. I applaud you!
Cindy - having known you since your babies were babies, and having gone through my own battles in the last few years, it was even a blessing to me to read your story and realize some things about myself. I could not keep a dry eye looking at these shots. You have meant so much to me in so many ways over the last almost 20 years, and your life has touched mine in more ways than you know. Thank you for sharing this sensitive part of your life, and thank you for helping me realize some things about myself. I love you, and your sweet family.
I was very touched by you sharing your story. We could have a long conversation if we ever met. Blessings unto you
You're an inspiration and I have been truly touched with your story. I am going through a similiar situation and it is comforting that I am not an outcast and others have gone through the same as I. The images and pictures you shot, are amazing and truly convey the emotions and feelings toward the struggle that one goes through. Thank you for sharing your story!
Keri Campbell
Powerful, very powerful. Baptism has always been about spiritual cleansing, about letting go. I am glad you came to understand that self-forgiveness is the final process of forgiveness, the one that even God cannot do for you. I hope this "confession" will free you to realize that all of the past was necessary to prepare you for what is to come and what you are to become. And to help you understand that God understood that all along, Cindy.
This was the most powerful and amazing blog I hvae read in a very long time. Thank you for sharing this
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